Pondering & Wandering

Things I’m still thinking through and figuring out.

Jun 20, 2026

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3 min read

The Grasshopper I Tried to Save

I've been carrying a small memory around for a while now. It’s not a dramatic one. No one else was there, nothing about it seemed important while it was happening. If I described it in a single sentence, it would sound like nothing at all. But it has stayed with me the way certain small things do, quietly and stubbornly, long after they should have faded.

Emily Maroutian

Pondering & Wandering

Apr 23, 2026

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4 min read

A Quiet Writer in a Loud World

For most of my career, I’ve been able to exist as a writer without needing to be seen personally. The work spoke for me. The ideas carried me forward. The connection happened somewhere distant and quiet, between the page and the reader.

Emily Maroutian

Pondering & Wandering

The Space Before Understanding: Learning to Sit Inside the Unfinished

Apr 12, 2026

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3 min read

The Space Before Understanding: Learning to Sit Inside the Unfinished

For the past few years, I’ve learned that there’s a part of me who doesn’t know how to exist professionally without a lesson to teach. Without a mechanism to explain. Without offering some kind of intellectual value to my reader.

Emily Maroutian

Pondering & Wandering

Living in The Tension Between Certainty and Freedom

Apr 8, 2026

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5 min read

Living in The Tension Between Certainty and Freedom

There’s one part of me that wants to know exactly where I’m going. Not just the direction, but the outcome. I want the guarantee. I want the quiet reassurance that if I take this step, it will lead somewhere meaningful, somewhere safe, somewhere right.

Emily Maroutian